Monday, June 20, 2011


Oooh man the blog took a hit, didn't it?

UPDATE: I am living in Roanoke!

I love tennis. My friends and past roommates will confirm this and probably tell you stories about me yelling at the TV or randomly yelling out "NO!" while staring at my computer screen.

Growing up, my sister and I learned to play tennis at the Princess Anne Country Club. Our mom was a big tennis player and lover and encouraged us to play the sport. One summer the club was my "babysitter". I would ride my bike the mile from my house to the club and spend about 12+ hours there starting at 8 am. My day was swim practice, free swim, lunch, 3-4 hours of tennis, swim or dive practice, dinner, swimming, ride home. Those were long days, but great ones. As my interests shifted and I started attending a summer camp for most of two months, playing tennis only came in the half hour to hour I could play while at camp (eventually teaching it as a counselor). But my love for tennis never waned. I begged for news from Wimbledon in letters to my mom, always hoping that an American would prevail (specifically Andy Roddick). One of the reasons that I love Wimbledon is that the fans would love to see the greats play, but they are satisfied by seeing great matches on the outer courts like court 5 and court 18 which held the longest tennis match in history last year between John Isner and Nicolas Mahut (a 5th set that went to 70-68 and lasted over 11 hours over three days!). They swarm the grounds and genuinely love the game. Why do I love this about Wimbledon specifically? Probably because I was appalled by the crowd in Paris for Roland Garros (French Open) this year. For quarter-and semifinals the stands were hardly full. They couldn't have cared less for the outer courts and it just surprises me that some say it is the best grand slam. I feel the players like playing clay court because it requires your game to be well-rounded and you have to excel at constructing points to win. But it is not this fan's favorite. Like I said the Wimbledon lawns are surrounded by fans and they appreciate the opportunity they have to see great tennis and do not squander those times when a single match breaks 7+ all-time records the likes of which we may never see again!

Another reason I love Wimbledon is for the traditions and the memories. Wimbledon grew to be rather special to our family because we always ended up cooking for Breakfast at Wimbledon and watching the final matches. It was as casual as it could be, but always great. The memories of these weekends will always be with me. My mom and I definitely share a great love for the game and we love to watch it and add our own commentary about everything from fashion to individual points.

One of my life goals is to take my mom to Wimbledon for the full two weeks, get the full experience. Mom deserves that because she has worked her tail off to support my sister and I and to make sure she was there for all of our games, tests, meets, graduations, failures, and triumphs. It would be extra super cool to get her there to watch the ALL-TIME great Roger Federer win one and, for me, Andy Roddick.

These thoughts are kind of jumbled but all true

GO RODDICK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, November 1, 2010

I'm Exhausted

I am exhausted.

I am exhausted from all the driving.

I am exhausted from scouring the internet all the time.

I am exhausted from living out of a suitcase.

I am exhausted from the inbetween-ness of things.

People think I was/am crazy for quitting my job at the end of September so that I could search for a job and a place to live in Roanoke. The past 31 days feel like several months have gone by. And this next one only seems more daunting. I guess I can consider myself lucky because I have had some(though severely limited) success in getting a couple interviews in the past month of hitting the pavement and computer screens hard.

But I am exhausted.

I am living out of a suitcase in a limbo land. I drive 4 1/2 hours to Roanoke every week for a couple of days to apply for jobs and maybe have an interview. And everyday I feel like a stupid kid. Everyone asks why Roanoke, why now, and why without a job first. 1. I love the mountains...but I love the beach too. I need to leave my home and my mother's house and experience life on my own. 2. Because I wouldn't have had the courage to do so if I waited and 3. Same as 2, but also because I tried getting a job online once before and it did not work very well.

I stopped writing this post a couple days ago because my mom had just come home after being at work all day and I was crying and I didn't want to cry in front of her. Why? Cause I feel like I need to be strong and perseverant (is that a word? the all-knowing mac is telling me it is) all the time around her.

Now, back in Roanoke, I am still exhausted, living out of a suitcase for a couple days and still have the feeling of in-between all the damn time. Good news is -I have two more interviews today.

On my drive up here I was just praying a little bit and I felt very much affirmed in the decision to move up here and in most of the decisions I had made to do so. That was encouraging and I felt some momentary peace. I am still exhausted and I desire to be settled more than ever. This is hard. And I am thankful for my lovely friends and my loving mother who have helped me so much already. I am trying to pray for constant peace because the all-too-familiar pangs of doubt creep in each and every hour of every day.

I need to start moving this morning, so I will leave it here.

Been a long time since I have posted something, but it has been along time since I have just sat down and truly expressed my feelings to myself.


Monday, March 15, 2010


Lately (the past week and half or so) my dreams have been incredibly intense, the stuff action movie blockbusters are made of. I cannot recall many details of these dreams except for one or two of them, but I can recall waking up and thinking, "WHOA! WHAT THE CRAP!?"

So...what will it be tonight?

A Matrix like adventure?

(not a huge fan...but cool idea)

Or a tussle with a tiger and a Gladiator?

("Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?")

How about a night running in Jurassic Park?

(Still as amazing as when I saw it as a Dinosaur-obsessed 6 year-old.)

Or hanging out with these two, a Dark Knight and a Joker?

Or for a much more fabulous dream! Maybe I will step in the wonderful world of Harry Potter!
(This is a still from the first Deathly Hallows movie...NOVEMBER 19th PREMIERE!! --- Laura and Mark, what do you say to a Midnight premiere with Amp filled bellies??)

Like I said, the dreams have been epic-like in their activity.

All though these dreams are intense and significant for me to write about, I still pray one day a God-sized, God-ordained passion fills my dreams instead.



Those of you who don't know, we had to put down my dog, Mazzey, last Sunday evening. I knew this day was coming soon, but when it comes it seems much too soon. Mazzey was 13 1/2 years old- old for a dog her size and for a lab. But Mazzey has been part of more than half my life, I was nine when we brought her home that December weeknight. We had other dogs when I was little, but only for a short time. Mazzey was the first dog we had from 8 weeks and raised her whole life. She was my first.

I am thankful for Mazzey's friendship and companionship. I am thankful I got to say goodbye. I am grateful for the joy experienced by Mazzey and my family together.

The following were just some thoughts I had from a few nights after. I coudn't sleep, and this is what I was thinking about.

I expect to see you every morning, taking it easy in the den.

I expect to read your reaction to my appearance as to whether or not you are well and what your priorities are for the morning.

I expect you to be hanging out in full view of the front door to welcome visitors.

I expect to hear you drink water and to make sure you are not using the toilet as a water bowl.

I expect you to crowd me when I eat making sure you watch intently every bite I take.

I expect you to come over and eat whatever may fall "accidentally" or accidentally.

I expect to look at the sliding glass door and see it is unlocked.

I expect to hear you "knock" at the door and I welcome you back in.

I expect to hear the "thwap, thwap, thwap" of your wagging tail

I did not expect the silence your absence has brought. I did not expect to miss you so much.

It is sad to know my girl is gone, but we had a good life together and that's what matters most.


p.s. I was trying to get some early pictures scanned into here, but it is not working right now so check back and you may be able to see some other photos.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Celestial Wonder

"When I look at the staaaaaaars, the staaaaaaaaaaaars, I feel like myself"
-Switchfoot, Stars

Monday, February 8, 2010

I understand, but I'm confused.

The last week (maybe a few days before) in January I started studying in John's gospel. I read through the first 4 chapters probably twice each trying to just get my head around it and make sure I know what I read.

I come to chapter 5. It took me 3 days to read the whole chapter. I decided I needed a commentary or something to help me through. Then for inexplicable reasons I took a week off of reading the Word. I made excuses such as snow, lack of heat, moving my sister in to her new place, french toast and Call of Duty (Yes, I play. No, not on Xbox. Wii is cooler.)

This morning I got up had an English muffin and some coffee and then opened my Bible to John chapter 6. I told myself, I will go back to chapter 5, just need that extra help with it. Well, oh Lord how I love your sense of humor. Chapter 6 will probably also require a commentary or something like it.

Well, I am in the midst of John. Meanwhile, I am loving reading Brittany's blogs from India as well as the rest of her team. They are just incredible. How wonderful and exciting to be loving on children, praying with nonbelievers, and encouraging those who just found Jesus all the while surrendering your entire being and being affected to your foundations. Sweetness!

My life, however, is far less exciting. But I will let readers out there know what I find within John's gospel.

May it lead to/continue the Chase of a lifetime after the Wild Goose.


p.s. see what I did there? see what I did? Plugged a book I am reading. Clever.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Bad Bald Pixie Drivers

Tonight was interesting for all of 6 minutes.

I was on a mission tonight to find some entertainment to rival my Mom's dinner plans that I was not allowed to go to. That's right, a movie from Redbox and take-out burritos is SO much better. I went to one Redbox without luck (too many people) and proceeded to the next. Now, the next location is inside and I was so excited to not have to wait in the freezing cold. However, Mr. Bottle of Wine and Rotisserie Chicken was taking an extraordinarily long time to pick his movie...and then he 'started over'. Impatiently I waited for the man's dvd to be vended and moved forward enthusiastically when he was finished only to find that all desirable movies were absent.

So, I shuffled outside to the warmth of my idling car (something I NEVER do) and proceeded to try and drive off. Bald Man with the glasses decides that he is more important and has the right of way (which I admit, he probably did) and drives past me staring the entire time his car is next to mine. Yes, he craned his neck back to keep staring at me. Baldy with the spectacles continues on driving in the center of the lanes blocking traffic coming from the other way. Genius.

I then pull out watching for other Bad Bald Pixie Drivers and see Baldy's car waiting to pull out onto the street. I got so giddy that I had to control my foot on the accelerator to avoid the people and their expensive groceries. I punch it (as much as you can in a parking lot) and pull up to the man's Corolla and give him a taste of his own medicine and stare unblinkingly. As I pull up to his window I watch as he looks over and I add a 'what now' gesture at the man and drive off without stopping (probably one of my more dangerous moments). Luckily, he was going left and I right and there were not any cars coming both ways. It was only after I realized a couple of points:

1. Ridiculous...How ridiculous I must have looked to the man, especially after adding 'what now' and driving off dangerously

2. Doh!...I am unemployed and this person could be a potential employer. If I ever find him across the desk from me in an interview, I will either walk out immediately or sit there and humble myself and settle with the fact that I will not be getting the job.

I was also rather angry with him for staring...I don't know why. But it continued for the next few minutes as I drove down Pacific Ave.

On a more positive burrito from Pelon's was a tremendous success and though I was unsuccessful at Redbox, there was a new episode of NCIS on and I was delighted to watch it.

27 days until The Beginning of the End. LOST.

love ya'll


EDIT: I do not know how this man was a 'pixie', per se, but it fit.